sunnyside up!

(leave your worries on the doorstep)

random thoughts on valentine’s day

I don’t have anything for Paul for Valentine’s Day this year.  He said not to bother since I’ve no job hence, no extra spending money, but I usually do like to give him a little something — especially chocolates from Jacques Torres.  Ever since I made the “Master and Commander” valentine (about 4 or 5 years ago) it’s been pretty hard to come up with anything better.

My cousin’s husband, RV, sent his wife some kind of Facebook gift-app valentine.  It was unintentionally funny, too, as it read “Free Love” and I don’t think R, being from another country and not totally up to speed on America’s bizarre cultural history (especially in the 1960s-70s) understood what we think of when we think of “Free Love.”

* * * * * * *

I’ve been experiencing a lot of sad feelings lately — I’ve shared some of them with some of you.   Those of you who know the story know that it was a struggle to mend the damage that arose from a particular individual’s selfish and neglectful behavior late last year.  I was just starting to settle down again, after being left so emotionally drained by the whole debacle, when a new chapter of the drama unfolded, setting everything in motion again.  Without having to recap, let me just alert those of you following the soap-opera to this latest plot twist:  the T family tree is sprouting another new and diverse branch — scheduled to blossom in later August/early September.

Having sad feelings is sad, but at least it’s not depression and I can at least feel happy that I recognize the difference enough to know I’m not depressed!

Also: being jobless makes me focus on things of a more urgent nature — sticking to a budget and looking for ways to raise cash and cut costs — and prevents me from indulging in any real regret or self-pity.  Paul tasked me with an activity I’ve been enjoying: rolling up the coins he’s been stashing in his big Arizona Iced Tea one gallon bottle.  So far, I’ve rolled and wrapped about $240 and the bottle is not yet half empty.  The goal is to gather about $1,000 which is what we need for our accommodations in Rome next month.

The Rome trip was planned before I lost my job and the flights are already paid so we just need to save up $$ for the apartment rental.  It will be the last — but most exotic and exciting — of our visits to check out colleges for R Jr.  We’ll be looking at the American University of Rome and John Cabot University, both in the Trastevere section.  I can’t wait!